How to ask for (and get) what you want?

We all want to get what we desire, in fact, our lives revolve around getting what we want, starting with changes in our workplace and career, love life and family.

Although we often focus on what we want, do we know how to ask for it?
We see the things we want as  a battle we win or lose, instead of seeing them like a series of compromises and negotiations, and this is perhaps the biggest mistake we make.

It is crucial to know how to ask for what we want, and how best to get it at our workplace. These are 6 techniques that everyone must overcome.

  1. Tell yourself that there is nothing to fear from except from the fear itself.

What if they refuse me and make fun of me? The fear of rejection is the biggest reason why people aren’t  looking for what they want.

Strategy: Before you ask anything, remind yourself about the importance to get what you want. Do not focus on how others see you, but on the arguments that are on your side. Focus on why you need what you are looking for and why it is important not only for you but for the others as well. In that way,  many of the fears you worry about will disappear.

  1. Remember that confidence and determination are the most important things.

The most important elements in getting what you want are confidence and determination. If you don’t believe in yourself and if you are not confident how to get what you want don’t expect anyone else to believe in you.

Strategy: Any excessive emotional reaction or comment from your side will make the other party not understand the problem or you seriously. First, recognize that not everything can be obtained from first hand and that it is possible to be rejected. Learn to deal with an kind of reaction with dignity.

  1. Organize Your Thoughts

If you don’t express clearly about what you want and if the other side doesn’t understand what you want, don’t expect to get that.

Strategy: You can simply write down on a piece of paper the thing you want, your requirements and the reason why, and how you present it. It is very important to present the thing you want properly. In your report don’t jump from one topic to another, don’t run away from what you’ve planned. Be concise and clear.

  1. When you are asking for something, ask from your heart

Requests are always better received if they are sent from the heart. Allow the speaker to realize that the thing you ask for really means to you.

Strategy:  Look like you are comfortable in your own skin. Be free, your expression and intonation shouldn’t be monotonous, and your gestures must send a message of openness. This will not only make you feel more relaxed, but it will also enable a pleasant conversation.

  1. Prepare for ‘no’

Even when you think that everything you do is ok, you can hear a “no” for an answer. Be prepared.

Strategy: Do not lose patience and don’t take this as a final “no.” You should understand that everything happens for a reason and that this refusal is probably just a sign to proceed in the future to get more “yes”-es . “No” does not always mean “no,” perhaps it means “try again.”

  1. Learn to be grateful

Whether you get what you want or not after the conversation, learn to say “thank you.” Time is precious for everyone, be thankful that someone spent their time on you.

Strategy: Whether you converse face to face or in writing, complete the conversation with “thank you.” It gives the other party knowledge that they are dealing with a mature, polite and warm person who knows how to appreciate things, and in this way you leave their door open for you in the future.

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